What to Do with God when Your Life Feels Meaningless

 I don't understand what God created me for, or why I came into this world. It would have been better for me had he not made me, that I would have been spared from the bad side of this life.  

The above are thoughts that I thought every day as I had been going through a bad patch and was bitter. I had been born with a birth defect of my thyroid gland that mimicked mental illnesses.  Eventually, I got the treatment I needed at the Johns Hopkins Hospital back when I was 26.   I felt misunderstood, frustrated, and bitter.  I felt that my life was a mistake, an error.  

It had been this way for a long time, actually until this morning, me, at age 65. Then this morning, I saw the light. I did something new. I made a decision.  Since I had already decided that I would adopt God's perception of me as my own self-perception.  

As I had already engaged God for rejecting the spirit of rejection and self-rejection, I decided to do the same with my life's purpose and I did, as I will now tell.

I went before the throne of God in prayer.  I said, let my perception of my life's purpose, I told God in prayer, reflect your perfect will for me. Let my definition of my life's reason be determined by your purpose for me, what you will for my life, let that be then the definition of what my life means.  Then I remembered a verse by Jesus. It is that I can do nothing apart from Jesus Christ.  He is the vine and I am the branch.  So, not even defining my life and what it means is something that I can do apart from Jesus' participation in it. 

This is what it means to put God first in all that I do. I can do nothing for myself apart from God.  I don't need proud achievements to gloat about. If God wills me to do many little good things as a way to glorify Him and bless other people, let that be my purpose whether that is what I am to do for all the days of my life, or for a while only, until something else is in store for me, let me embrace that as my purpose then.

The important thing about all this is that I am not the only one who has the burden, this yoke, this existential vacuum.  Others have this too.  Let others learn of my example so that their lives have meaning and purpose. Let the relationship between God and each of them give them and their lives the meaning and definition they need their lives to have. He opened up my life from a life that I thought meant nothing to a fulfilled, and meaningful life. God makes all the difference. Don't go off on your own and try to define your life without putting God first. DON'

T listen to your ego, it will mislead your mind. Seek God first, his kingdom, his righteousness. Let those Godly treasures define your life.

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The Self-Awareness Side of Self-Improvement: 10 Signs to Recognize You Need Personal Growth

 Sarah sat at her desk, her shoulders tight, rubbing her temples. For weeks, she'd been snapping at her family, losing sleep over work decisions, and feeling this general, unexplained unease all the time. Her partner had gently suggested that she might be stressed, but Sarah brushed it off. It wasn't until a colleague mentioned mindfulness that Sarah paused to consider: Could she be missing something about herself?

 

This moment of reflection is often a turning point for many. Recognizing the signs of stress and discomfort can lead to profound personal growth. Although self-awareness is crucial for personal growth and well-being, many individuals struggle to recognize when they need to enhance this vital skill. Knowing such signs of lack of self-awareness is just the beginning of deeper self-understanding, better choices, quality relationships, and deepened emotional intelligence. Those signs include: dismissing concerns raised by loved ones about your mood or behavior, feeling uncomfortable with work decisions but unable to articulate why, to experiencing physical symptoms like tension and irritability without understanding why it is happening, among other signs, etc.

 

This article is written to understand and discuss the elements that makeup self-awareness, including signs when one lacks self-awareness and how to improve it. All these aspects of the elements will help an individual gain insight into their behavior and thought patterns, which will further lead to personal growth and well-being.

 

 

Dismissing concerns: You always dismiss any feedback from close ones regarding changes in mood or behavior as unimportant, never taking their observations seriously.

 

Work decision anxiety: You always feel apprehensive about decisions taken at work, and you cannot quite pinpoint, in fact, explain why you do this, meaning you don't reflect upon yourself.

Unexplained physical symptoms: You feel tense, irritable, or otherwise show physical signs of stress for which you don't know the cause. This would show that your mind and body are disconnected.

 

Work-life boundary problems: Boundaries between stressing work and personal life, especially allowing professional issues to unravel in free time and relationships, are difficult to draw.

 

Unproductive rumination: You frequently replay situations or choices made in the past, while making no new insights or learning anything from them-that is, and little productive self-reflection occurs.

 

Self-improvement avoidance: You avoid habits, like meditation or mindfulness, which would eventually lead to gaining high self-awareness because you are probably skeptical or afraid of introspection.

 

Coping strategy amnesia: You can't remember, when current problems arise, how you surmounted similar problems previously, implying a relative lack of personal awareness of your own resilience and problem-solving skills.

 

External validation dependence: You rely heavily on others' opinions to validate your actions or decisions, indicating a lack of trust in your own judgment and self-understanding.

 

Emotional pattern blindness: The inability to perceive recurring patterns of your feelings concerning stressors prevents you from learning relevant lessons and establishing better ways to handle emotions.

 

Unexplained unease: A lingering low level of discomfort or dissatisfaction with life or circumstances, without clearly being able to identify specific reasons, perhaps pointing to the need for deeper exploration on the part of the self.

 

As you might have gathered by now, from Dismissing concerns to experiencing Work decision discomfort to suffering Unexplained physical symptoms to struggling with Work-life boundary issues to engaging in Unproductive rumination, Avoidance of self-improvement, Coping strategy amnesia, External validation dependence, Emotional pattern blindness, and finally feeling Unexplained unease, these signs together point toward an emerging need for greater self-awareness.

 

Being able to recognize these signs within your life can often be the first step toward growth, better decision-making, and balance with fulfillment in life.

 

There is more to consider than what could be accommodated within the space of a single article such as this. Self-awareness is a multi-dimensional journey into a world of measures, techniques, and personal experiences beyond what we discussed here.

 

Some things can be predicted or forecast about moving forward into the future: ideas such as the importance of continuous self-reflection, the value of seeking honest feedback from others, and the benefits derived from practicing mindfulness. Self-awareness is an inherently personal and often times unpredictable journey.

 

It requires a commitment to ongoing learning, openness to new experiences, and the courage to face uncomfortable truths about oneself. As we walk down this path, let us remember that self-awareness is a lifetime process of growth and discovery, not a destination in itself.

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Death-Bed Atheists: Horrifying Last Words

After seeing this video, I have come across an irony.  I have been a selfish, lustful, angry man throughout my life. And I am humbled though guilty and sometimes ashamed to admit that there are folks who are atheists out there who are better, more charitable, kinder, more cheerful at least when they are healthy than me by far.  

Yet this man who is this wretched guy who knows what he ought not to do but does, and speaks words he ought not to say, and thinks filthy thoughts he ought not to think of   

And despite all these failures and shortcomings, because I have put whatever faith I have been blessed with into the Lord Jesus Christ who was tortured for me, was nailed to a cross and hung there for seven or eight hours, who went to hell for me, who took all these horrible things that I and not He deserved, will go to be with God and all these folks who have been far better than I have ever been, they will end up down there, in the Lake of Fire.  

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You – Whose Property Is Your Life Really?

 I fully accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and my personal Savior when I was 41.  I experienced the Holy Spirit drive in and expel all my sins from deep inside me, leaving me clean.

Unfortunately, then I was still addicted to porn and even after my salvation, I still sinned. I looked at sexy women and I fantasized about having sexual intercourse with them, thus having committed adultery in my heart even though I never touched them physically.

Today, I still read the Bible. I pray on my knees to God, I think of God a lot. Yet, I still suffer some suicidal ideation, of fleeing circumstances that make Life feel overwhelmingly burdensome to me, such as when Life circumstances knock at my door and make demands of me even when I am fully unable to meet them. Money problems, health problems, work problems, crime, poverty, war, relationships broken, etc. all sorts of problems come and go all the time. Still, none of us created ourselves, none of us could have arrived at adulthood without caregivers feeding, clothing, and sheltering us. And we were created without having asked to come to the world. None of us signed up for being born, being subjected to life here with all of it's good, and it's bad, and it's beautiful, and its ugly parts. And no one owed us a request if we wanted to come, we were simply created by the same God who does as He pleases and owes us nothing at all, not even a reasonable explanation of why He made us. I wish He had spared me a lot of the negative experiences that Life put me through.

 

But He allowed them.  And He owes us no courtesy to spare us such negative experiences.  Instead, we were born in sin and need a savior. We were created and came to the world as debtors to Him for being born in sin. But Life wasn’t fair to Jesus, either. He committed no sins, and yet He paid for our lives with his own life. Then, if that wasn’t enough, He went to Hell for us too. No, He didn’t go there forever, but He went to Hell nonetheless.

 

So, we have no right to complain. I have no right to complain.  I spent a good number of years complaining and protesting my having been brought into the world with some of the limitations I was born with. Furthermore, I have a congenital flaw that interfered a lot with my development, although I am physically well-formed.

 

I eventually got a lot of medical help and was brought up to a position that although the congenital flaw is still anatomically there, it doesn’t interfere with my living a full life, although I still wish I had been spared a lot of

 

So, if you face some or many obnoxious situations and limitations and still have Life bearing down on you and making unreasonable demands of you regardless, remember that you don’t own you’re the life you are living, that it is legitimately owned by your Creator, God, and it is not yours to take or destroy or abuse.  

 

So pray in times like these.

 

I am going through a very obnoxious situation that I haven’t been able to overcome. But I have God, the legitimate owner of my life, walking next to me in my struggles. And I can call on Him any time I need to talk to Him in prayer, and He answers. And when I stumble and commit a sin, like I did yesterday, I confess, and He forgives me knowing what my human weaknesses are.

 

And nothing and no one can separate me from His Love for me, ever.  And the same things that apply to me, they apply to you every bit as much as to me.

 

What does it take for me to not give in to suicidal ideations and seek escape in times like these?

 

It’s such times that I am reminded by the Holy Spirit that my life is not mine to take, regardless of how tempting escape feels. He, the Holy Spirit tells me that even though I am experiencing my life, this life that I am experiencing belongs to Him, to God, to Jesus Christ, to the Father, to the Holy Spirit, and that I am no one to take what is His by right.

 

There are times when I see other folks do things with their lives that make them rise above us all financially, professionally, relationally, in every way possible, and in my 65 years of being alive, I haven’t achieved any, or only a small fraction of what others have achieved even though the same God who created them is the same God who created me.

 

And again, the Holy Spirit tells me to mind my own business and look ahead at the distance that my race has to be run still before my race, the race that He delegated for me to run is run. 

As for the song, It’s My Life, sung first by Talk and then by Gwen Stefani of No Doubt, that song is a rebellious claim that holds no water.  I love its music, melody, and beat.  It was written by a songwriter who made money and performed professionally, and videos were made of it. But it’s not applicable in objective reality. 

If you take your own life and say that you’re the owner of your life when you show up for judgment in front of God, what do you think He’s going to reply to you with?

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