Motivation: Ten Common Reasons Why Dealing with Failure Can Be Challenging

Motivation:  Ten Common Reasons Why Dealing with Failure Can Be Challenging

_{By Robert Edward}

Introduction:

 

Dealing with failure is an essential aspect of personal and professional growth, yet many individuals find it difficult to navigate. Understanding the reasons behind this difficulty can provide insights into how to better cope with setbacks and learn from them.

 

In this report, we'll explore ten common reasons why some people struggle to deal with failure:

 

Fear of Judgment:    The fear of being judged by others often plays a significant role in why people struggle with failure. They worry that their failure will be perceived as a reflection of their worth or competence, leading to feelings of shame or embarrassment. Overcoming this fear requires recognizing that failure is a natural part of any journey and does not define one's entire identity.

 

Unrealistic Expectations:  Setting overly ambitious expectations can set the stage for disappointment and difficulty in dealing with failure. When individuals expect immediate success or perfection, any setback can feel like a colossal defeat. Cultivating realistic expectations and understanding that progress takes time can make it easier to handle failures.

 

Fixed Mindset:   People with a fixed mindset believe that their abilities and traits are static, leading them to view failure as proof of their limitations. Embracing a growth mindset, where failure is seen as an opportunity for learning and improvement, can help shift the perspective and make dealing with failures more manageable.

 

Attachment to Outcomes:   Focusing solely on the end result can make failure seem unbearable. When individuals invest all their emotional energy into a specific outcome, they can become devastated if that outcome is not achieved. Learning to appreciate the process and detach from outcomes can make failures less emotionally distressing.

 

Lack of Resilience Skills:   Resilience, the ability to bounce back from setbacks, is a skill that requires practice. Those who haven't developed resilience may struggle to cope with failure because they lack the tools to navigate challenging situations. Building resilience through self-care, positive coping strategies, and seeking support can make facing failure less daunting.

 

Perfectionism:   Perfectionists often have an all-or-nothing mentality, where anything less than perfection is considered a failure. This mindset can lead to excessive self-criticism and avoidance of risks to avoid the possibility of failure. Shifting towards a healthier pursuit of excellence and acknowledging that mistakes are part of growth can help individuals handle failures more effectively.

 

Negative Self-Talk:   Internal dialogue filled with self-blame and negative self-talk can amplify the distress associated with failure. The words we use to interpret failure influence our emotional response. Learning to reframe failure as a valuable learning experience and being kinder to oneself can reduce the emotional toll of setbacks.

Comparison to Others: Constantly comparing oneself to others who seem to have achieved success can contribute to feelings of inadequacy and difficulty in handling failure. Remember that everyone's journey is unique, and comparing yourself to others is not a fair measure of your own progress.

 

Lack of Failure Education:   In some cultures or educational environments, failure may be stigmatized or not discussed openly. This lack of exposure to the concept of failure as a learning experience can make it challenging to navigate setbacks when they do occur.

 

Fear of Trying Again:   Experiencing failure can create a fear of trying again, especially if the failure is particularly discouraging. This fear can lead to avoidance of future opportunities and potential growth. Learning to separate one failure from your overall potential and resilience can help mitigate this fear.

Dealing with failure is a skill that can be developed over time by addressing these common challenges.

By acknowledging and working on factors such as fear of judgment, unrealistic expectations, mindset, attachment to outcomes, resilience, perfectionism, negative self-talk, comparison to others, lack of failure education, and fear of trying again, individuals can build a healthier relationship with failure and use it as a stepping stone toward personal and professional growth.

 

This report would be a disservice or at least an incomplete service if only reasons for failure were discussed.  I myself had many failures and was harshly reprimanded and humiliated when a child, ten, and younger adult by several folks at home, in school, and at work for failures.  

These humiliations caused me to quit often and not persevere. Those humiliations motivated me to create this report. I wish I had been exposed to these devices and remedies so that I would have turned out better. 

But I am alive and still have the potential to improve. And so do you!

Here are ten remedies that someone who struggles with dealing with failure can consider taking to better cope with setbacks in the future:

 

Practice Self-Compassion:   Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Acknowledge that everyone faces failures, and self-compassion can help you navigate them with greater resilience.

 

Shift to a Growth Mindset:   Embrace the belief that failures are opportunities for growth and learning. Cultivate a mindset that focuses on progress and improvement rather than fixating on perceived limitations.

 

Set Realistic Expectations:   Aim for realistic and achievable goals. By setting attainable objectives, you reduce the risk of setting yourself up for disappointment and making failure more challenging to handle.

 

Focus on the Process, Not Just the Outcome:   Appreciate the journey and effort you put into your endeavors rather than solely focusing on the end result. This perspective can make setbacks feel less overwhelming.

 

Practice Resilience-Building Activities:   Engage in activities that help you build resilience, such as mindfulness, meditation, regular exercise, and maintaining a support network of friends and family.

 

Challenge Negative Self-Talk:   Pay attention to your internal dialogue and challenge negative self-talk. Replace self-blame with constructive self-reflection and a willingness to learn from mistakes.

 

Seek Learning Opportunities:   Treat failure as a chance to learn and grow. Identify specific lessons you can take away from each setback to avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future.

Celebrate Small Wins:   Acknowledge and celebrate even the smallest achievements and progress you make. This practice can help boost your confidence and motivation over time.

 

Practice Resilience Through Exposure:   Gradually expose yourself to controlled situations where failure is a possibility. This can help you become more comfortable with the idea of failure and build your ability to bounce back.

 

Seek Professional Help if Necessary: If your struggles with handling failure are impacting your well-being significantly, consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor who can provide tailored strategies and support.

 

Remember that building the ability to cope with failure takes time and effort.

Each step you take toward adopting a healthier mindset and implementing these remedies can contribute to your personal growth and ability to navigate setbacks more effectively in the future.

Motivation: From Milkshake-Machine Salesman to CEO of McDonald’s Restaurants: When Life Takes an Unexpected Turn

Motivation:  From Milkshake-Machine Salesman to CEO of McDonald’s Restaurants:

When Life Takes an Unexpected Turn

Success isn't a straight path; it's a winding road with unexpected twists and turns. While some might assume that notable figures in history took a clear route to success, many had unexpected beginnings.

Let's explore nine such iconic personalities who had very different jobs before they struck gold:

 

Ray Kroc:

Before: 53-year-old milkshake-machine salesman who made a risky career move while most of his peers were probably dreaming of retirement.

Later in Life:  In 1954, the man who made McDonald’s what it is today was inspired by the precision of the McDonald brothers’ roadside burger joint in San Bernardino, Calif., Kroc eventually bought the small business and expanded it to the worldwide company that today is worth more than $147 billion across nearly 36,000 locations worldwide.

 

Agatha Christie:

Before:  Famous mystery writer

Later in Life:  In her 40s, after a breakdown and divorce, Agatha Christie found true love and became an archaeologist.

 

Suzanne Watson:

                                                                                    

Before:   Episcopal priest and housewife

Later in Life:  After age 50, Family Medicine Physician and Psychiatrist.                                                         

She never lost the dream of practicing medicine. When she was 50, she started to take stock of the years she had left, and her son said to her, “You know, I’ve heard you talk about this your entire life, and you either need to do it now and sign up tomorrow, or you need to just shut up about it.” And she just decided, “You know what, I might as well give this one more shot.”

 

Rodney Dangerfield:

Before:                                                                     

He delivered groceries and sold newspapers and ice cream at the beach.   At the age of 15, he began to write for stand-up comedians while performing at the Nevele, a resort in Ellenville, New York.

He struggled financially for nine years, at one point performing as a singing waiter until he was fired, before taking a job selling aluminum siding in the mid-1950s to support his wife and family.

Dangerfield came to realize that what he lacked was an "image", a well-defined on-stage persona that audiences could relate to, one that would distinguish him from other comics. After being shunned by some premier comedy venues, he returned home where he began developing a character for whom nothing goes right.

                                                                           Roy took the name Rodney Dangerfield, from a cowboy character portrayed by Jack Benny on his radio program in a 1941 broadcast. The Benny character, who also received little or no respect from the outside world, served as an inspiration to Dangerfield while he was developing his own comedy character.

Later in Life:  

Stardom started at the age of 46 when he made a hit appearance on “The Ed Sullivan Show”.

 

Peter Mark Roget:

Before:   

British physician, natural theologian, lexicographer, and founding secretary of The Portico Library.

Later in Life:                                                         

After retiring from his medical career in 1840, at age 61, Peter worked on his thesaurus as a way to battle depression. His thesaurus first printed in 1852, when he was 73, and had 28 printings. 

 

Harland David Sanders, aka Colonel Sanders:                                                                            

Before:   

Sanders held a number of jobs in his early life, such as steam engine stoker, insurance salesman, and filling station operator.

Later in Life:  

Harland David Sanders (aka Colonel Sanders) opened his first franchise of the famous Kentucky Fried Chicken in 1952, when he was 62.

 

John Stith Pemberton:

Before: Confederate lieutenant colonel during the Civil War,  Pharmacist

Later in Life:  In 1885, at age 54, Pemberton mixed a version of the syrup in a brass kettle in his backyard that would later become Coca-Cola. It contained extracts of cocaine and of kola nuts, a rich source of caffeine, and sugar for sweetening instead of wine. Pemberton took the concoction to Jacob’s Pharmacy nearby for tasting. There it was mixed with carbonated water as a soda. It was to be sold as a “brain tonic” and offered as an ideal temperance drink. 

His bookkeeper, Frank Robinson, came up with the name Coca-Cola and also developed the script style that remains the company’s logo. 

Anna Mary Robertson Moses, aka Grandma Moses:

 

Before:   Housewife, farm help, embroiderer

Later in Life: Artist Painter, when arthritis made embroidery more difficult in her sixties, she began dabbling with paint, mixing leftover house paints to create pictures on old farm boards. In her late seventies, when her husband died, she began to paint more, selling some of her primitive folk art paintings in a local drug store.

 

Václav Havel:

Before: 

Playwright and writer

Later in Life:                                                                

Became president of Czechoslovakia at the age of 53 after the fall of the communist regime in 1989

 

This compelling list showcases that the journey to success is often dotted with experiences that might seem unrelated or insignificant at the time. But these experiences mold us, provide us with unique perspectives, and often play a vital role in our later success.

For many, this winding road might feel daunting. It might be tempting to abandon ship and give up on dreams, especially when faced with personal challenges.

Robert Edward’s story resonates with this sentiment. At 64, after a life marked by an endocrine birth disorder, an endocrinal nervous breakdown at age 24, a long depression, numerous failures in work and in love, especially with numerous rejections featuring several woman: one who said he was a waste of time for her based on his low income, another woman who said there was no point in him continuing to even being alive on account of his not having arrived anywhere significant in life, a third one who said he was worth meeting only online and not in person because of his ugliness – To those venomous humiliating rejections, Robert thus asserted.

_{6] The LORD is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?
[7] The LORD taketh my part with them that help me: therefore shall I see my desire upon them that hate me.                                                 Pslams 118, verses 6 and 7}                                                                                     

Furthermore, there were unrelated issues such as familial fears which kept him from pursuing his ambitions for decades, Robert stands undeterred.  

Armed with a BFA degree earned at age 22 and a spirit unwilling to capitulate, Robert Edward emphasizes the importance of self-encouragement.

Life's challenges, though significant, are surmountable. As King David penned in the Psalms during his moments of despair, "Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God." - Psalm 42:11, KJV.

So, wherever you are on your journey, remember: that every job, every experience, and every struggle brings you one step closer to where you are meant to be. Embrace the journey, no matter where it starts or the detours it might take. The destination, often, is worth the ride.

 

 

Credits and References: 

Entry for Ray Kroc                                                              https://parade.com/977149/parade/celebrity-late-bloomers/

Entry for Agatha Christie                                                                    https://laterbloomer.com/agatha-christie-archaeology/

Entry for Suzanne Watson                           https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2019/lifestyle/women-over-50/

Entry for Rodney Dangerfield                                       https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodney_Dangerfield                                   https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/life-after-40-get-inspired-52-late-bloomers-ramesh-dontha/

Entry for Peter Mark Roget                                                                      https://secondwindmovement.com/late-bloomers/  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Mark_Roget

Entry for Harlan Saunders                                                 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colonel_Sanders

Entry for John Stith Pemberton                                                https://lemelson.mit.edu/resources/john-pemberton                                                     https://paul-gwamanda.medium.com/late-bloomers-people-who-started-late-in-life-b487e83c38c8

Entry for Grandma Moses                                                                                    https://linstepp.com/2021/08/31/september-2021-late-bloomers/

Entry for Václav Havel                                                                                                                  https://academic-accelerator.com/encyclopedia/late-bloomer

https://quod.lib.umich.edu/cgi/k/kjv/kjvidx? 

Society and Culture: CULTURAL MARXISM - The Corruption of America

 

I am adding my reaction to this video right here. To me, what take away message that I got from this video and what is narrated is that Cultural Marxism is Trojan Horse Marxism.  What  I mean by Trojan Horse Marxism is the history of the Trojan War at its conclusion.  The Greeks had gone through ten years laying siege to the City of Troy and failed every time.  

The Greeks then decided to use scheme.  They gave the Trojans the impression that they had given up on trying to conquer Troy, that they just gave up and sailed back to Greece.